A man fell into a pit and couldn’t get himself out.

A subjective person came along and said, "I feel for you down there."

An objective person walked by and said, "It’s logical that someone would fall down there."

A Pharisee said, "Only bad people fall into pits."

A mathematician calculated how deep the pit was.

A news reporter wanted the exclusive story on the pit.

An IRS agent asked if he was paying taxes on the pit.

A self-pitying person said, "You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen my pit."

A fire-and-brimstone preacher said, "You deserve your pit."

A Christian Scientist observed, "The pit is just in your mind."

A psychologist noted, "Your mother and father are to blame for your being in that pit."

A self-esteem therapist said, "Believe in yourself and you can get out of that pit."

An optimist said, "Things could be worse."

A pessimist claimed, "Things couldn’t be worse."

"Jesus, seeing the man, took him by the hand and lifted him out of the pit."